Without going into specifics about my job, sometimes it blows my mind just how much responsibility I have. Yesterday was one of those days that it literally slapped me in the face.
Yesterday I was responsible for 2 lives.
Yesterday I had to tell a patient that she had cancer.
Yesterday I had to listen to another patient sob hysterically on the phone about how she was going to lose everything because she couldn't work and she felt like she wasn't being taken care of.
Yesterday my heart broke because there was nothing that I could do to help either one of them.
Yesterday I hated my job. I hated the responsibilities. I hated the fact that I held people's lives in my hands.
Yesterday the heaviness in my heart was all consuming.
Today I have decided that I refuse to let those incidents define me or drag me down.
Today I am making the conscious decision that I will do everything I can do to help anyone I can help, regardless of circumstance or personal opinion.
Today I will call the patient with cancer and check on her and let her know that I am thinking about her and that she can call me with any questions.
Today, I will break whatever rules I have to in order to get the other patient, who is dying, the care that she so desperately needs.
Today I will be my own advocate...my own patients advocate.
Today I will make a difference.